Love your unfiltered honesty here. I can relate on the random subscribers thing: most of my subscribers come from a single longstanding recommendation, from UK Law Weekly. I can't think of a publication more dissimilar to mine (not from the UK, don't write about the law, don't write weekly), and can only imagine some people are a bit nonplussed when they discover the spirituo-psycho-philosopho-I-dunno jumble they've let themselves in for. Sure enough, I'll shed a few subscribers after publishing a post, but encouragingly I keep more than I lose, so the number keeps going slowly up over time. Interestingly, the percentage of people who actually open the emails stays pretty much exactly the same no matter how many subscribers I have.
Real psychological experiments on yourself and others, these newsletter things.
Fascinating experiments, indeed! Of course, it’s a little difficult not to take some of it personally. As I had suspected, this new set of subscribers is simply that: subscribers but not readers.
Among the few people who seem to have opened the email at all, I’ve shed one subscriber already. I hope that, over time, I gain more readers than subscribers.
Thanks for being readable! It takes a lot of courage to write the way you do - as you say, there's little to no barrier between you and the reader. My Substack writing tends to fall more into the 'start with a bit of biography, then extrapolate from it to a general principle' genre that you describe, which enables me to feel that little bit of distance between myself and the work. (The pseudonym and the fact that I don't advertise my blog to anyone I know personally also help.)
My songs, on the other hand, are a much more right-brain, feelings-based thing, and they feel so viscerally like *me* that I find it incredibly difficult to put them out into the world. I can just about play 'em live, but recording them and saying 'These are the ultimate versions, what do you think?' is so daunting as to be nearly impossible. Then marketing them and risking having no-one pay attention? I'd almost rather people disliked me than my music, haha
Wow, I feel what you describe. Perhaps the thing to do is to not look at ‘no one paying attention’ as a final outcome; the effort is to put yourself out there repeatedly, until they start to pay attention. I agree that it is difficult, but there is so much joy in having found even one person who hears you.
I admire the distinct identity that you’ve created for yourself, despite the complete anonymity.
What a delightful, irreverent, unapologetically being-yourself piece! So utterly accurate that the compulsion to be published is the pinnacle of narcissism! Loved your sentence, "I will speak, uninterrupted, unquestioned, in the words and language of my choosing and you had better understand."
What is really engaging is though they read like 'notes-to-myself' written from the 'me' perspective yet everything said applies universally!
Thank you, Madhu! Your response to my work is always most encouraging, allowing me to see more layers to the writing than I had intended.
Interestingly, in an earlier draft, I had used the word “narcissistic” instead of “self-indulgent” here: "I can’t think of a pursuit more self-indulgent than that of writing”. But I realise that narcissism is as hard to recognise and accept in oneself as it is easy to see in others.
Sep 5, 2023·edited Sep 5, 2023Liked by Richa Vadini Singh
I opened this the day it came to me. Like so much of life, I was called away from that which speaks most incessantly to my core (your writing and therefore, you). While reading the comments just now, the memory of almost losing my life surfaced, in a rip tide, 17 days after and 1700 miles away from where my baby brother's ashes were put into the ocean in the summer of 1993. What it felt like to slowly realize there was no bottom beneath me and I was being turned upside down without having the certainty I could turn myself right side up again.
As a writer who wrote that one book but didn't promote it, as a writer who hungers for those that can understand, as a writer who burrows into the hermetic life in order to hear the deepest voice within, I understand peeling away skins and relationships that no longer work as protection or boundaries, as insight, intimacy, or support.
Nice to get back to your voice. I was also reminded of a comment I received when I had a blog on myspace. Someone commented that when they knew I'd written a piece they were excited because when they had a minute to themselves they would return to where I had placed myself because I always took her back to herself.
I hear the child screaming out loud, "NOooooo!" in the vicinity. The noise of life that takes us from ourselves, what we love, what we need, and numbs us to what can be. Your writing takes us to what can be! As my mother always said, "Keep writing!"
I say, "You be you. What you think is of interest interests me. It doesn't matter how often it comes to me. It is welcome here in my inbox, in my brain, in my heart and being."
Always a delight to hear from you, Lisa. Thank you for coming back to this so many days later; I’m glad that you count me and my writing among the things that speak to you. I’m intrigued by the particular memory that the comments on this post have evoked in you. Would you like to reflect on why that may be?
Thank you for this: "You be you. What you think is of interest interests me. It doesn't matter how often it comes to me. It is welcome here in my inbox, in my brain, in my heart and being." You cannot imagine how profoundly reassuring this is to me.
You attract other writers who are pensive, expressive, and inspired! It's like an extension of what you felt guided to give, the pebble into the pond and the reverberations of concentric circles expanding outward.
I could relate to much of this, especially the way an office goer perceives the weekend. On the note of newsletter writing, you bring up a good point that most writers aspire to bring value via lists and advice. I’ve never thought of it like that. My biggest wish for my own newsletter is to create a community, but so far I admit I haven’t put enough effort (self promotional or otherwise) into making it happen.
I’d love to read your definitions of home in a future post. A topic definitely worth considering !
Building a community of readers is my goal, too, although, like you, I haven’t done much for it either. Here’s wishing us the courage and the commitment to talk about the work that we do!
Thank you for reading, and I’m glad you could relate to some of it. 🤗
It reminds me of how writing is somehow incomplete without the reader- both need the other, but the writer more so!
I’ve been thinking about how the best writing is the one where the writer uses it to make sense of life. Enjoyed this, Richa!
Great to see you here, Priya, and thank you for reading!
As a reader, I admit that I sometimes fail to notice a writer’s absence, but as a writer, I always miss the reader.
I particularly love how simply yet resonantly you outline that which qualifies as great writing, the best writing.
Love your unfiltered honesty here. I can relate on the random subscribers thing: most of my subscribers come from a single longstanding recommendation, from UK Law Weekly. I can't think of a publication more dissimilar to mine (not from the UK, don't write about the law, don't write weekly), and can only imagine some people are a bit nonplussed when they discover the spirituo-psycho-philosopho-I-dunno jumble they've let themselves in for. Sure enough, I'll shed a few subscribers after publishing a post, but encouragingly I keep more than I lose, so the number keeps going slowly up over time. Interestingly, the percentage of people who actually open the emails stays pretty much exactly the same no matter how many subscribers I have.
Real psychological experiments on yourself and others, these newsletter things.
Fascinating experiments, indeed! Of course, it’s a little difficult not to take some of it personally. As I had suspected, this new set of subscribers is simply that: subscribers but not readers.
Among the few people who seem to have opened the email at all, I’ve shed one subscriber already. I hope that, over time, I gain more readers than subscribers.
Thank you, as always, for being a reader. 😊
Thanks for being readable! It takes a lot of courage to write the way you do - as you say, there's little to no barrier between you and the reader. My Substack writing tends to fall more into the 'start with a bit of biography, then extrapolate from it to a general principle' genre that you describe, which enables me to feel that little bit of distance between myself and the work. (The pseudonym and the fact that I don't advertise my blog to anyone I know personally also help.)
My songs, on the other hand, are a much more right-brain, feelings-based thing, and they feel so viscerally like *me* that I find it incredibly difficult to put them out into the world. I can just about play 'em live, but recording them and saying 'These are the ultimate versions, what do you think?' is so daunting as to be nearly impossible. Then marketing them and risking having no-one pay attention? I'd almost rather people disliked me than my music, haha
Wow, I feel what you describe. Perhaps the thing to do is to not look at ‘no one paying attention’ as a final outcome; the effort is to put yourself out there repeatedly, until they start to pay attention. I agree that it is difficult, but there is so much joy in having found even one person who hears you.
I admire the distinct identity that you’ve created for yourself, despite the complete anonymity.
Wow, that's a really good way of looking at it! And thank you, that means a lot 🙂
What a delightful, irreverent, unapologetically being-yourself piece! So utterly accurate that the compulsion to be published is the pinnacle of narcissism! Loved your sentence, "I will speak, uninterrupted, unquestioned, in the words and language of my choosing and you had better understand."
What is really engaging is though they read like 'notes-to-myself' written from the 'me' perspective yet everything said applies universally!
Thank you, Madhu! Your response to my work is always most encouraging, allowing me to see more layers to the writing than I had intended.
Interestingly, in an earlier draft, I had used the word “narcissistic” instead of “self-indulgent” here: "I can’t think of a pursuit more self-indulgent than that of writing”. But I realise that narcissism is as hard to recognise and accept in oneself as it is easy to see in others.
I opened this the day it came to me. Like so much of life, I was called away from that which speaks most incessantly to my core (your writing and therefore, you). While reading the comments just now, the memory of almost losing my life surfaced, in a rip tide, 17 days after and 1700 miles away from where my baby brother's ashes were put into the ocean in the summer of 1993. What it felt like to slowly realize there was no bottom beneath me and I was being turned upside down without having the certainty I could turn myself right side up again.
As a writer who wrote that one book but didn't promote it, as a writer who hungers for those that can understand, as a writer who burrows into the hermetic life in order to hear the deepest voice within, I understand peeling away skins and relationships that no longer work as protection or boundaries, as insight, intimacy, or support.
Nice to get back to your voice. I was also reminded of a comment I received when I had a blog on myspace. Someone commented that when they knew I'd written a piece they were excited because when they had a minute to themselves they would return to where I had placed myself because I always took her back to herself.
I hear the child screaming out loud, "NOooooo!" in the vicinity. The noise of life that takes us from ourselves, what we love, what we need, and numbs us to what can be. Your writing takes us to what can be! As my mother always said, "Keep writing!"
I say, "You be you. What you think is of interest interests me. It doesn't matter how often it comes to me. It is welcome here in my inbox, in my brain, in my heart and being."
Always a delight to hear from you, Lisa. Thank you for coming back to this so many days later; I’m glad that you count me and my writing among the things that speak to you. I’m intrigued by the particular memory that the comments on this post have evoked in you. Would you like to reflect on why that may be?
Thank you for this: "You be you. What you think is of interest interests me. It doesn't matter how often it comes to me. It is welcome here in my inbox, in my brain, in my heart and being." You cannot imagine how profoundly reassuring this is to me.
You attract other writers who are pensive, expressive, and inspired! It's like an extension of what you felt guided to give, the pebble into the pond and the reverberations of concentric circles expanding outward.
I could relate to much of this, especially the way an office goer perceives the weekend. On the note of newsletter writing, you bring up a good point that most writers aspire to bring value via lists and advice. I’ve never thought of it like that. My biggest wish for my own newsletter is to create a community, but so far I admit I haven’t put enough effort (self promotional or otherwise) into making it happen.
I’d love to read your definitions of home in a future post. A topic definitely worth considering !
Building a community of readers is my goal, too, although, like you, I haven’t done much for it either. Here’s wishing us the courage and the commitment to talk about the work that we do!
Thank you for reading, and I’m glad you could relate to some of it. 🤗
This was a fun read. Love the way you write.
Thank you! ❤️